How to face the fear of marriage, in 5 tips
Fear of marriage is a more common phenomenon than it seems , and its harmful effects on the quality of life of those who suffer can be noticed for years.
In this article we will see several tips on how to face the fear of marriage and not let it add a dose of anguish to your life.
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Fear of marriage: what to do?
Both the worries and the nerves before marriage are very common, but they are still phenomena that have more to do with the ritual itself and with the celebration of that special moment. But nevertheless, beyond these episodes of slight discomfort , there are those who fear not to the day of marriage itself, but to the life of married, to the phase of life that begins from that moment.
However, before addressing the problem of the anguish that is experienced when experiencing the fear of marriage, it must be clear that this phenomenon does not have to be something that appears in isolation in each individual: social influence counts, and a lot .
To some extent, the fear of marriage may be based on social pressure. Nobody is missing the fact that even today there is a strong "inertia" that leads us to assume that marriage is part of a life developed in a normal way, so that people of a certain age who do not establish this link are strange cases, sometimes even cause for contempt or ridicule.
Thus, the fear of marriage can be the result of the discomfort of feeling "predestined" to go through the altar even if there is no real will to marry or lead a life as a couple. Therefore, before considering whether the fear of marriage is in itself the problem, it is necessary to pay attention to the context in which we live , to know if what makes us feel bad has to do with the expectations that the rest of people have deposited in us.
That said, and assuming that it is a truly personal fear and not based on the pressures of our social circle, we can now move on to the councils.
1. If you do not have a partner ...
There are people who experience fear of marriage despite not having a partner. In these cases, what usually happens is that it is the influence of the rest that makes us assume that a day will come when we will have to compromise. What happens is that this influence does not have to be very obvious, and can even come through not specific people (friends, family, neighbors ...) but through the influence of the culture in which we live immersed .
Keep in mind that if you do not have a partner it does not make sense to be afraid of marriage. In practice, we must adapt as much as possible to those situations that we are really living, and not those that are imaginary or hypothetical. Whatever your circumstances, the fear of marriage will only give you extra concern that simply should not be there.
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2. Do not assume that it will go wrong again
In the field of love there are many emotions at stake, and that makes it relatively easy to go through psychologically painful experiences. As a result, there are people who develop fear of emotional commitments, and the fear of marriage is the clearest example of this type of links in which two people are committed to ensuring the other.
In these cases, it is good to modify those beliefs, since they create discomfort, on the one hand, and do not make us more realistic, on the other. The latter is like that because the love story of any person is never so broad as to have a representative sample that allows to know well "the people" in general. Each person is a world, and although it is true that there are psychological regularities, these can not be known by the simple fact of having had a dozen couples before.
3. Examine your material conditions
It is possible that circumstances have made the idea of the wedding increasingly closer and that you do not feel able to move to that kind of life . But part of that concern may come from the fact that the lack of preparation is not psychological, but material.
If you lack the economic stability that allows you to safely launch into married life, you must first deal with those issues that have to do with your living conditions, of course in constant dialogue with your partner.
4. Analyze if it is a great qualitative leap
Although getting married is something of symbolic and legal importance, you should not assume a big change when defining the type of emotional behavior that unites you with your partner. The ideal is to get married when you already experience a degree of intimacy and commitment similar to that of the married couple.Otherwise, the fear that something will fail can cause you to experience stress simply because of the uncertainty.
5. Embraces new forms of commitment
Finally, you have to consider the possibility that, if you experience fear of marriage, this is because does not have enough preparation to live as a couple continuously . In this case, take seriously the task of learning those habits that life in common requires.