How to stop absorbing the emotions of other people, in 5 steps
Every time we experience an emotion, we are doing it influenced by the society that surrounds us. It is something that is beyond our control and that, in itself, there is nothing wrong with it. It is simply impossible to live life apart from the ideas that the culture in which we live and the relationships we maintain, and these two elements affect our way of thinking and feeling.
However, one thing is to experience our emotional side through sociocultural influences, and another is to get used to how we feel depends on how others feel. This it is something that happens from the mental processes proper to empathy , but that can give way to a kind of "emotional contagion" that can harm us when it leads us to fall into negative emotions constantly and unjustifiably.
In this article we will see some tips on how to stop absorbing the emotions of others , and in what way we can modify the way in which we react to the feelings of other people so that they do not nullify our own criteria and our personality.
- Related article: "How to express feelings and connect with someone, in 6 steps"
How to stop absorbing the emotions of others
To stop suffering this constant emotional contagion, follow the guidelines you will find below. Keep in mind, however, that each case is unique, and you must find a way to adapt these tips to your specific case and your way of life.
1. Beware of dependency relationships
This is a basic condition to avoid being infected by the emotions of others constantly, but the importance of this advice goes much further. When we get involved in dependency relationships, both our actions and our feelings orbit around another , who consciously or unconsciously learns to control us taking us to the mental state that most interests him.
So that, either in the field of friendship or in the relationship of couple , it is important to control that all these emotional links are symmetrical and fair, without one part dominating the other, since in case of falling into dependence, we become practically an extension of the body of the other.
- Maybe you're interested: "Emotional dependence: pathological addiction to your sentimental partner"
2. Expose to third opinions
To not absorb the emotions of another person all the time, you have to maintain your own criteria about what happens around you. Therefore, even if our relationship with another person is healthy, it is necessary to have frequent contact with more people. Each individual is a point of view , and the simple fact of exposing oneself to explanations about reality that to some extent contradict each other, bring us closer to a unique way of seeing life.
3. Analyze what kind of emotions you absorb most
Probably, who has a propensity to absorb emotions, has it with certain ways of feeling, not all. For example, In many cases, sadness will be the emotion that most affects us , but in other cases this may be anger coupled with the desire for revenge.
Stopping to think this will be helpful when determining in which contexts and situations we are most vulnerable.
4. Learn to adopt a distanced perspective
This is another piece of advice that can be used for many other things, and usually brings advantages when someone tries to adopt a more neutral point of view. It requires some effort and practice, but over time, it is gaining the ability to analyze more coldly what happens.
For it, it's good to literally imagine seeing a fact from a distance , as if it were part of a simulation or a story that does not take place in our plane of reality. In this way, it breaks with the illusion that everything that happens in the world or close to us is of capital importance and is the center of the universe.
5. Help the other person
Some people may think that the best way to avoid contagion with the negative emotions and discomfort of the rest is, simply, to cut off contact with those who transmit them to us. Although it may be useful advice in very extreme cases, in most cases it is not a good idea, assuming that it is a healthy relationship in the rest of the aspects .
Why is it not recommended? Because from this point of view it is assumed that the problem is isolated in two people: one that emits and one that receives without filters. But what is happening is just the opposite: there is a link, a relationship, that goes beyond individuality. Therefore, it is much more advisable to try to help the other than to flee from him.
This is an option that many people overlook.If we absorb the negative emotions of another, also we can go to the root of the problem by helping that person . Not everything has to do only with how we feel; Sometimes, a little help can make a big difference, benefiting not one but two people.
