7 steps to know how to create better conversations
Intelligence is a very general mental capacity, and one of the areas of life in which it expresses itself more and better is in the conversations we have in real time with friends, colleagues , potential clients ... What we verbalize talks about the type of person we are, and that is precisely why it is very important to master the communication skills involved in this activity very well.
Now, there are many elements that can interfere in our way of expressing ourselves: nervousness, disorganization, mental blocks ... Knowing how to minimize its effect is also part of the communicative skill that we must know how to develop. If you want to start rowing in that direction, you can start by following these guidelines to know how to generate interesting, stimulating conversations and that involve others.
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How to create good conversations
Follow these guidelines and incorporate them into your daily habits: there are no magic solutions that are noticed in two days, but medium and long-term results.
1. Enrich your mind
The first step to enrich the content of a conversation It is enriching one's knowledge. Gaining cultural references on arts, politics and science, for example, means that we are rarely left without knowing what to say, because even if we do not know well the topic we are talking about, we gain the ability to ask questions that contribute and that are meaningful for all who listen.
Of course, this step can not be fulfilled in a few hours, but it is the first one that we must give, and apply it to our day to day reading books and articles, exposing ourselves to art frequently and, of course, participating in conversations. Which brings us to the next point.
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2. Surround yourself with people from whom you can learn
The intellect is a muscle that is exerted by submitting it to efforts, and for that we must try fill our lives with stimulating people . Knowing how to detect these people is also a challenge: is that man we admire really interesting, or is he impressed by his aesthetics and the agility with which he speaks? The best conversation is one that stimulates the whole mind, not just the ears and the eyes.
3. Learn to follow rhythms
Many times, the problem that causes the quality of conversation to decline is simply the fact that not controlling the rhythms of participation . There are people who believe they have participated in a dialogue when in reality they have been listening without saying anything, and there are those who take the turn to speak and make others want to leave because of boredom.
To improve in this aspect, for example, if you think you have a tendency to talk too much, you can press a thumb against the palm of your hand the whole time you talk; this way you will be remembering all the time that you have been capturing your attention for a while. If the opposite happens to you and you do not speak, plays to detect pauses somewhat longer than normal in what the other says and to quickly think of something to say, even a single sentence, without changing the subject.
Of course, at first this will not improve the quality of the conversation (quite the opposite) but thanks to this you will get used to talking more and you will lose the fear of generating more symmetrical dialogues.
4. Put yourself in the place of others
Another problem with the conversations has to do with the belief that others know the same thing we do. This can make what is said do not interest them (for not understanding those references). It's good that you ask yourself what is the type of knowledge that others have , and adapt to them.
5. Real listening
Do not worry about your image; Simply, get lost in what the other person says, your words. You will naturally look her in the face and often in the eyes, but do not get obsessed with it. Your attention should be placed on the discourse.
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6. Do not be afraid to talk about yourself
You can talk about practically anything if you find an agile way of linking it to the topic that is being discussed in a conversation. If you think that an anecdote from your childhood says something about the ideological stance you talk about with your co-worker, bring it up, as long as it does not take long, so as not to wander .
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7. Pay attention to the signs of interest
When you speak, from time to time observe the reactions of others with the specific objective of estimating if they are interested in what they hear. If you think not, "lighten content" develops an end to what you talk about and look for a "landing" on the subject that you think will interest (and that possibly had been treating before). As much as we master the art of the word, what matters and what is not something that is decided by the group of people who participate in the conversation.
