Commitment in the couple: 5 keys to achieve stability
In a time when freedom is increasingly valued to live life in the way we want, the issue of commitment in the couple is very complex .
In our days, individualism permeates everything, and for some it means that certain intense emotional bonds, such as the love of a couple, no longer make much sense. However, any love relationship requires a certain amount of commitment, something that demonstrates that we are willing to invest efforts in it .
In the next few lines we will see several key ideas to cultivate commitment in the couple and at the same time prevent this from becoming a constant and sickly control system that turns the relationship into a tyranny.
- Related article: "The 6 habits of strong relationships"
What is the commitment in the couple?
Any relationship of couple needs, to survive, something more than the pure feeling of love . To maintain and develop requires material elements, an environment in which to thrive. After all, love is no more than the people who form it: it does not exist if there are no bodies, and bodies need an environment in which to live their day to day.
The commitment in the couple is the set of all those guarantees that show that the couple's relationship has and will have a context in which to develop and exist as such. So, its fundamental component is stability, which allows to have confidence that the courtship or marriage have a future .
For example, all those initiatives that have to do with looking for a work schedule that allow spending a minimum of hours of the week together is an expression of commitment in the couple, and the same happens with the search for a place where can rent a flat to live as a couple, if that is the will of both.
- Maybe you're interested: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love are there?"
How to enhance commitment and stability in the couple?
These tips can be very useful to reinforce commitment in the couple and create an environment in which it is possible to draw plans for the future in common.
1. Ensure material means of life as a couple
It may sound unromantic, but if you do not work for achieve and maintain the minimum conditions of life in common , it is very difficult for the commitment to be maintained. This means, for example, that we must take care of all the material elements that are shared and that allow us to share a place.
On the other hand, if you want to live in the same property you have to take into account that this space is more than a roof where you live yourself, since it fits with the needs of both (and since it would be difficult to find another place that satisfy the needs of both, it is valued even more).
2. Betting on honesty
Honesty is one of the main values that you have to cultivate in a couple relationship.
Of course, maintaining a healthy love relationship does not mean having to share each and every one of the secrets we have given that our individuality must be preserved, but in any case, we must get used to sharing opinions, reflections, concerns with the other person. beliefs and everything that structures our way of being and behaving.
Only through honesty is it possible to demonstrate that the couple is holding on to equality, given that all the relevant information is on the table, each person knows what can be expected from the other and what she wants in her life.
3. Appreciate the sacrifices of the other
Although to strive for the couple is essential for this to enjoy good health, it is necessary to remember that every time a sacrifice is made to keep the bond alive, that is a reason for thanks and a show of appreciation.
4. Maintain respect
Respecting the other person is a basic need of relationships, not only when maintaining stability and expressing the love commitment.
However, as regards the issue we are dealing with here, respect brings the idea that the other person is recognized as a being with its own criteria and will, capable of making its own decisions autonomously, and therefore its value is expressed. This is a guarantee that it will be a decisive part in the future direction of the couple's relationship.
5. Look for relational symmetry
We must ensure that the forms of commitment are the same for both, without the situation that only one must meet certain requirements, while the other is not subject to this rule. In this way it is clear that important decisions will not occur unilaterally .
- Sternberg, R.J. (1987). "Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories". Psychological Bulletin. 102 (3): 331-345.
- Giles, James (1994). "A theory of love and sexual desire".Journal for the Theory of Social Behavior. 24 (4): 339-357.