Frustration intolerance: 5 tricks and strategies to combat it
At some point in our lives, we have all set ourselves a challenge. We have worked very hard, we have decided to postpone other plans to have more time and to give that subject all our dedication for the end, we do not reach our goals .
It could not be, we have lost, we have failed. This feeling of failure or even of anxiety it can be for some people a simple blip and for others, according to their point of view, one more defeat to add to the list .
If you identify with the second option I suggest some exercises and tricks that you can practice to improve your frustration intolerance .
Daily frustration: beginning to accept the situation
We can not deny that, c When we feel frustration, the emotions and thoughts that are generated are very intense . The malaise exists and we feel it as something real, even if they tell us that it is only an illusion or that we maintain an exaggerated attitude, or that we look for perfectionism and we seem obsessive ...
The feeling of frustration is not pleasant, but neither unbearable. With the determination that comes from this idea we must change our attitude and our internal dialogue to verify for ourselves that these small "failures" can help us to strengthen and empower ourselves. A) Yes, the result will always be a better feeling of wellbeing .
Therefore, before starting to manage the feelings related to frustration we must recognize and accept that although it seems obvious, the world does not revolve around what we want, and therefore, it is necessary to assume that we are not going to get everything we want . The best we can do is to think that long-term rewards tend to be more rewarding than those that are short-term, and that is why we should moderate the desire for immediacy and discover that we are often satisfied with less just because of that impatience.
Some ideas to manage frustration
The most important thing in a situation that generates frustration is:
- Do not get carried away by the intense emotions of that moment (frustration, sadness, anger, anger, anger ...).
- Give us a few moments of pause it will allow us to reflect and analyze the situation, so that we can look for alternatives to achieve our objective. In addition, we will recover a more calm and stable emotional state.
Having understood all the above ideas, we can implement different techniques that help increase tolerance to frustration and the ability to cope with situations in which our expectations are not met. I propose five very useful and with good results. Ahead!
Tricks to improve tolerance to frustration
The objectives we seek when using these techniques are to be aware of what we feel, identify the main emotion, what kind of thoughts overwhelm us and, finally, enter a dynamic in which we can analyze our reactions.
1. Key phrase
It's about using a meaningful self-disclosure what It will help us to abandon thoughts that lead to unhelpful actions and negative moods s , to replace them with others that lead us to face the situation. Using this kind of "reminders", we focus our attention on the solution of the problem and not on the discomfort.
Search in your experiences those phrases that have helped you to positivize negative situations, copy them on paper and remember them in times of crisis.
2. Give yourself time
Consists in avoid analysis or reflection until emotional cooling has occurred .
How can we do it? We can start doing pleasant or pleasant activities and practice them when we feel bad and ophoos. It is not a flight, it is a stop on time, a break for later, to respond to the demands of the moment in a more adaptive way without frustration limiting us.
3. Technique of the 5 alternatives
Many times, we continue to choose to achieve our initial objective, although an apparent failure seems to block our path . Find five alternatives to achieve a goal, value all its advantages and disadvantages. There is no ideal solution, so we will look for the one that has more advantages or the one that supposes more bearable disadvantages.
4. Telephone technique
Analyze the situation, identify the inappropriate behavior, specify what things have been done well and think of alternative behavior that includes the positive aspects of past mismatched behavior . Little by little and successively, you will arrive at an alternative of "optimal" action, since with each change the mistakes made are refined.
5. Zig-zag technique
It can help us to improve our patience and to learn to be constant.People intolerant to frustration present dichotomous thoughts (all or nothing, good or bad white or black, perfect or useless). This technique pretends that the person understands that there are ups and downs in all situations .
The goal is to facilitate the ends, dividing the goals into sub-goals, and taking into account that sometimes you have to make setbacks (zag) to keep moving forward (zig) towards the final goal. In this way, achievements are achieved in zigzag the setbacks being seen as opportunities to analyze the situation and reassess the objective. The important thing is that when experiencing a setback we should not feel hopeless, but keep calm, patience and perseverance to continue approaching your goal without letting frustration be a hindrance.
Some final tips
- Distinguish between wants and needs , since some need to be satisfied immediately and others can wait. It is not necessary that we become whimsical people.
- Control impulses and assess the consequences of our actions. For this, nothing better than knowing some emotional control techniques.
- Be aware that, many times, the pain or the feeling of failure has a lot of imagination . We must learn to relativize failures and successes, and notice that our reality is built much more slowly than we would like them.
- Control the environment, avoid things, people or situations that can frustrate us , to the extent possible
One last reflection
When we are children we learn to tolerate many situations that we do not like, we hear the "no" from our parents and teachers daily and little by little we develop our own tools to fight frustration and know how to manage anger and impotence. We are getting older and, sometimes, Being ourselves who put ourselves the goals and pressure, we lose perspective and as a consequence the good management of the situation .
But this can be remedied, just as in our adult life we endure without knowing many things that would totally frustrate us with seven or eight years. Let's do it!
