yes, therapy helps!
The 6 most frequent reasons for couples to argue

The 6 most frequent reasons for couples to argue

July 14, 2024

Relationships require a degree of commitment and willpower that in itself make the experience a challenge. Despite the myths about romantic love that circulate, the truth is that for a romance to work it is necessary to invest time and effort, and do it proactively.

That's why conflict in relationships is relatively common. Simply, marriages and boyfriends share too much time and activities with each other so that certain frictions do not arise from time to time.

However… What are the most frequent reasons why couples argue? Put to assume that the clash of wills is almost inevitable, it is good to know if these small crises are similar to those that have other relationships or if there really is a more specific and unique problem that is playing tricks on us.


  • Related article: "6 tests of love to apply to your relationships"

The most frequent reasons why couples argue

In my experience, these are the typical causes that make conflict and discord appear in relationships.

1. Free time

Free time is one of the great triggers of discussions in the context of love. Why? Because it responds to biological needs almost as basic as food. Free time is ultimately doing what the body asks us to do, whether it's cultivating a hobby or resting. Taking into account that cultivate the well-being of the couple is practically a job , it is normal that from time to time there arises the need to disassociate from making a life independently of what the beloved person does at that moment.


Thus, discussions about free time can appear in three different ways. The first one has to do with the amount of free time that each person needs; easily, one of them will require more time to do what you want, and the other, less, with which An imbalance will appear that you have to know how to manage .

The second way in which these couple discussions tend to appear is not based as much on the quantity as on the quality of those activities. There are hobbies that require special conditions, and the other person can see with bad eyes what is done . For example, if a person likes to do mountaineering, he may have problems with his partner because she is worried about the danger that entails.

The third way in which these conflicts appear has to do with expectations about whether free time is experienced by each side or if it is done in pairs. Some people assume that "normal" is the first option, while for others the opposite occurs.


  • Related article: "I'm not happy with my partner: what can I do?"

2. Problems of order and cleaning

Another major cause of discussions in relationships is the order that should be kept at home, and the cleanliness of the home. And the most normal thing is that everyone has their own conception of what it means to live in an orderly and clean home, and the slightest mismatch between them generates much discomfort both in those who want to see everything more collected and in the person to whom they belong. that is constantly required to collect their things and their dirt.

In addition, the most problematic of this is that there is no rational reason to justify the criteria that each one follows to consider whether a room is booked or not. In the end, as in most cases, the solution comes negotiating and adhering to commitments .

3. Intimacy

Intimacy is, as the concept itself indicates, something very personal. That's why it's not always easy to make it fit perfectly the expectations that are established in the couple's relationship , which by definition is interpersonal.

Each individual has a threshold that considers that others should not cross, and when the other person goes beyond it, the sensation is as unpleasant as it is difficult to justify.

This is noticeable both in sexuality and physical contact as as regards some secrets we do not want them to be known or by our partner. Each individual has its psychological backroom, but you have to know how to manage the expectations that the other has when it comes to knowing how the world looks from our eyes.

4. Money

It may seem banal to argue for the money, but when a good portion of the estate is shared, the occasions on which the conflict arises because of this are numerous. It's normal, since There may be very large expenses and very expensive products at stake .

In the end, it only remains to asmir that no matter how much we share life with a person we love, we will never be as good as the other person in detecting the injustices that she suffers (normally, without the economic decompensation having been sought by us, that yes.

5. Problems with the family

The extended family comes with the couple we chose, but it does not have to fit with us. But the way in which we act in front of this type of friction can determine if to this problem we will add another one that will fully touch the core of our relationship and that will cause many discussions . And it is that the apathy, the passive-aggressive attitude or the indirect ones on the in-laws do not have to be well received by the other person.

6. Jealousy

Arguments because of jealousy are somewhat less frequent than we have seen so far, because they are usually something that is difficult to recognize openly. However, the trace of romantic love based on the myth that we possess the other person still cause this kind of illusion, according to which the honor of some people depends on the degree to which their partner approaches individuals who can be considered competitors in the romantic .

In this case, the best thing to do is to be clear that if there is jealousy this is a problem of oneself, and that the best thing that can be done is simply to cut them off, because they do not bring anything good either for oneself or for the other person who forms the couple.

  • Related article: "This is how couples are in which there is no jealousy"

The art of argument | Jordan Peterson (July 2024).


Similar Articles