7 questions to know if you're okay with your partner
Relationships are not always easy , and in many cases the stages in which they do not go through good times are suspiciously usual. Do not forget that, as in any interpersonal relationship, each member of the couple has their own vision of the world, their tastes, their needs and even their insecurities.
To try to make this fit between the members of a couple is optimal, Dialogue is essential . Communication is one of the basic pillars of a relationship, because dialogue is what allows to maintain the project of life in common initiated by two people who love each other. In coexistence with others it is always necessary to negotiate, give in and reach agreements, and relationships are not an exception.
Social skills, key in the couple's relationship
Many times we think that true love fits by magic, that when two people love each other, things always happen in their favor because the strength of love can do everything. This may be fine for the script of a Hollywood movie, but in real life, for a couple to work, the two lovers have to play their part.
Over time, one learns that it is necessary to have a series of interpersonal skills for love to succeed, as for example, communication skills, empathy, active listening, assertiveness, respect or patience ... In relationships conflicts may arise at any time , the key is to know how to solve them.
Questions to know if you're okay with your partner
Believing that there are not going to be ups and downs in a relationship is an irrational belief, and the attitude with which one faces difficulties often determines the success or not of it. The important thing is to manage the situation so that it does not get out of hand, because as the conflicts progress, then it costs more to return to the starting point.
So the first step is to detect that things are not going well. If you have a partner and you are in a difficult situation, you may wonder ... How is it possible to know if a couple is going through a crisis? Below you can find a series of questions that will help you reflect on your situation .
1. Are there grudges?
Love is a magical and intense feeling for both the good and the bad. Being in love is one of the most incredible experiences that human beings can experience, but the emotional pain we feel when things are not going well in our love relationship is very deep and penetrating.
The conflicts with our lover or in love hurt us more than the confrontations with other people (for example, a friend) and provoke in us a much stronger and passionate reaction.
Therefore, it is easy to feel offended when things do not go as you wish and the discomfort can cause a huge grudge when the problems are not solved. If there is grudges towards your partner better than the solutions as soon as possible; otherwise, the problem may grow larger and the tension may be so great that the relationship will eventually break down.
2. Do you negotiate in conflicts?
The communication problems are one of the most common reasons for conflict among lovers . The quality of communication determines the future of a relationship, and that is why it is necessary to listen to the other person and be assertive, especially in difficult times. Conflicts can arise at any time, because we all have our needs and our own space within a relationship.
Knowing empathize with the other person, paying attention to their opinion and negotiating avoids many problematic situations and helps prevent the relationship from becoming toxic. If you realize that either of you imposes your opinion, does not listen to the other, or negotiates the important aspects, perhaps it is time to solve it.
3. Do you agree on the important things?
It is not necessary that you always share the same points of view However, in important things (such as common goals and ambitions) you must agree in a general way.
Each member of the couple has an individual scale of values, but as the relationship takes hold, it is necessary to build a common scale of values. This is essential to have a life project together, to help you navigate in the same direction and to give the relationship a sense of transcendence.
4. Does it support you in difficult times?
People are not perfect and neither are couples. But if the relationship goes through a bad time due to difficult circumstances in life, for example, work or personal problems, it is always better to remain united than to throw each one aside.
Do you feel that your partner is there for you and supports you in difficult times? How do you behave when you are alone? Reflect on these questions can make you see if your partner is committed to the relationship and with you.
5. Do intimate relationships work?
The intimate moments with the couple play a very important role in the unity and stability of this and influence the emotional health of its members. The embraces, the kisses, the displays of love and the sexual relationships make the members of the relationship feel a unique connection. But with the passage of time it is possible that the intensity of sexual contact decreases and that sometimes you can reach monotony, and this can cause serious problems for the smooth running of the couple.
When passion begins to diminish it is important look for mechanisms that allow you to relive passion again in the sexual field, otherwise, harmony in intimate relationships and in the expression of affectivity are affected. If this happens, it is necessary to reverse the situation as soon as possible.
If you take time with your partner and you notice that the frequency of intimate relationships is not the same as at the beginning of the relationship, it is normal, but if you perceive that there are sexual difficulties and that sex is no longer an intimate experience that connects you deeply, Maybe you are going through a bad time. Attending couple therapy can help to restore that bond of union and can give you the opportunity to overcome this situation.
6. Are you thinking about cheating on your partner?
Undoubtedly, one of the fundamental values to build a stable love relationship and a marriage is fidelity. In fact, one of the most frequent reasons why a couple goes to sessions of psychotherapy is to overcome this act considered as a betrayal and disloyalty .
The monotony or communication problems are often, often, at the root of infidelity, although the person who is unfaithful, to avoid feeling bad, can blame their partner for having reached this situation. While it is true that the fault is often both, the person who has carried out the infidelity has taken the decision to act as well.
Surely he could have resorted to other options, for example, having spoken with confidence with his partner about what he thought was not working in the relationship. Whatever the cause, if you also find yourself in this situation and if you are thinking of being unfaithful, there is something in the relationship that fails.
7. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person?
Maybe your relationship is going through a bad time and you have an immense desire to get away from this relationship, since it is affecting your day to day and you have stopped being the person you were. Equal the gap that separates you and your partner is so great that you no longer want to continue by your side.
However, it may happen that, despite the conflicts that have appeared in your relationship, deep down you know that your partner has a good heart and that it is worth fighting for those who unite you, which is a lot. In this case you should know that Couple problems can be solved with the help of a psychologist , and to go to couple therapy is not necessary to suffer a mental disorder, because the therapeutic relationship in this specialty does not revolve around the individual, but the relationship.
Couple therapy: when to go?
The couple therapy is a beneficial alternative for the love relationship to recover stability again, communication problems are solved and the two partners feel happy again.
In most cases it is possible to get out of the negative spiral in which the relationship has fallen and strengthen the affective ties or reactivate them. But ... how does one know that the time has come to go to couples therapy? Some indicators to attend couples therapeutic sessions are:
- There are communication problems
- Satisfaction in the relationship is declining
- There is a situation of specific crisis
- There are problems in intimate relationships
- There is indecision about future plans
- There is a distancing with the couple
- There has been infidelity
- There are problems of trust and jealousy
Mensalus Institute: psychological assistance in problems of couple and sexuality
Mensalus Institute is a psychology center in Barcelona formed by a team of psychologists highly specialized in couples therapy. If you feel identified or identified with the previous lines, this clinic can offer you solutions and help you in the difficulties that your relationship is going through.
Couples therapy is a positive resource for growth both individually and in the couple. Mensalus can help you learn new ways to relate with your partner or sentimental partner and can provide you with tools to overcome difficulties in relationship and coexistence, couple conflicts and sexual problems (lack of desire or excitement, the problem to reach orgasm, premature ejaculation or dysfunction erectile, etc.).
This center offers face-to-face therapy and online therapy.If you want more information, you just have to click here.
