The 7 myths of romantic love
In modern times and especially in Western culture, a model of affectivity called romantic love has been forged , which is rooted in the idea of monogamous links and stable relationships resistant to all difficulties. This has given rise to innumerable myths that invade the mentality of society, making love and relationships somewhat deceptive.
Although it is relatively easy to fall in love, learning to love is not so easy. And in love, both communication and the ability to solve problems are aspects that must be worked on within the relationship, and that are not solved by letting Cupid make his own.
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What is a myth?
A myth is a belief, a component within a whole structure of creeds shared by a culture or society, which accepts them as true. In general, myths tend to be a simplification about some aspect of reality and have the ability to influence, to a greater or lesser degree, our behavior.
These beliefs give the impression of being based on the objectivity that surrounds us, but although sometimes it is difficult to distinguish them, they are not; which it's leads the person to commit a series of avoidable mistakes .
Myths, both those related to romantic love and any other area, often act unconsciously on people; and although reading the following beliefs many of them may seem obviously wrong, exert a strong influence on the idea that people have of love.
Each person has their own mythology of love, based on their personal, family or cultural experiences. However, it is thanks to the media, cinema, literature, etc. that these beliefs have invaded the mental framework of society intensely, introducing in it ideas such as true love lasts forever, that there is only one person in the perfect world for us, or that jealousy is a guarantee of love.
Types of myths about romantic love
Due to the long duration that the impact of the idea of romantic love has had on the current culture, there are many myths that roam the imaginary of people.
In order to disarm these beliefs, or at least to make the reader a little more aware of them, this article includes a small compilation of the most popular, and possibly damaging, myths of the romantic panorama .
1. Love can do everything
Despite the temptation to believe it to see it written, the idea that if there is love in relation this is sufficient guarantee to overcome any problem, it is absurd. This myth it also works in the opposite direction, leading to think that if there are problems there is no love .
This belief leads us to think that in relationships considered perfect, people do not have any kind of conflict between them, and that respect, trust and communication come together with love.
The possible consequences of this myth are in the first place, early or unnecessary breaks by not looking for solutions to specific problems , and an even more damaging consequence for the person and is that this support any type of harmful situation or abuse for the sake of love, because this everything heals and everything can.
2. Love at first sight
This superstition ranges from the belief in the crush to the idea that chance interferes in some way to encourage an encounter between two people destined to be together.
In any case, although the existence of a powerful affinity or attraction facilitates the beginning of any relationship, the belief in this powerful attraction leads the person to not be able to perceive the reality clearly , or even see what does not really exist.
Finally, this myth leads people to ignore relationships with a very high enriching potential because they have not started with a passionate coincidence, or on the other hand, interpreting this ardent "passion" as a test of love.
3. The average orange
The longed for and persecuted half orange. The paradigm that encompasses this myth is that there is only one person in the world that is ideal for everyone.
The main conflict with this belief is the frustration that it can generate when it is internalized as a rigid pattern. Taking the person to hold on to a bond only by thinking that he will never ever find another being so perfect for her and, also, to think that after a break the possibilities were finished.
Likewise, if one considers that the concept of perfection is a pure ideal, it is practically impossible that nobody fits in those schemes that imagine the person . The search can be, if possible, even more daunting.
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Four.The right person fills in all aspects of life
In this myth fit phrases like "we must share all our tastes and hobbies", "we are responsible for the happiness of the other", "we are one person", etc.
Surely, the reader will recognize all these phrases heard in the mouths of others or even of oneself; but when read out of context, these expressions fall by their own weight.
The effects of these affirmation are innumerable, and in the great majority of the negative cases; being the most important the one of originate an obsession to find another person to start living, to realize dreams or even to start being happy.
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5. Full sexual interpenetration is irrefutable proof of love
This myth walks a little hand in hand with love at first sight. In him the person firmly believes that if his love is true intercourse will always be amazingly good .
It is true that a healthy and full sex life is important in the development of a relationship, but neither love is a guarantee of this, nor good sex is a guarantee of love. It is absolutely necessary to know, both your own body and that of the other person, and to work on sexuality just as you work on any other aspect of the relationship.
6. When you are in love you can not feel attraction for another person
However, at this point the reality is very different. Starting from the idea that love does not paralyze the willingness to feel attracted to others and that fidelity is a social construct, in which It is the couple themselves who decide what kind of commitment they want to acquire ; It is very common to experience some kind of affinity with other people without this meaning that you no longer love the couple, being in the hands of the person to establish the limits of this attraction.
7. Jealousy is a test of love
The myth of love by antonomasia; being justified and fought almost equally.
Actually the experimentation of jealousy only is an indicator of the threshold of anguish before the idea of another person take what is considered as their own by right. What the person thinks he should receive exclusively.
Jealousy is simply a demonstration of the fear of losing what is perceived as a possession, that is, the other person.
