Three communication skills that will help you in your daily life
Communication skills: the three characteristics of an efficient communicator
In the consultations, the therapists usually find that the happiest and most satisfied people have three specific relationship skills. Do not be discouraged if you or your partner are not very good at these communicative skills what are we going to comment We are rarely born with the gift of communication, but they are skills that need to be learned and practiced.
1. Empathy
Empathy refers to being able to put yourself in the shoes of another person and understand their experience and point of view, so that the interlocutor can get an appreciation of how they feel. Of course, you also have to be able to convey your ideas to that person precisely so that the other person can access that same understanding about your situation.
Most couples have difficulties with empathy for a simple reason: they believe that they already know what the other feels or thinks for the simple fact of having several years of relationship . Innumerable studies show the imperfection of this assumption: we are bad predictors of what the other thinks, including our partners. Our assumptions are almost always biased or wrong.
Empathy requires a mental trick: close your eyes and, literally, imagine being the other person. Put yourself in your perspective, in your reality, in your priorities, in your expectations, in your prejudices and your concerns. Only then should you enter the current dire situation on the scene and then imagine how the other person perceives the situation and how you would feel in that position.
Empathy is a crucial skill in communication and human relationships, and is also related to the next essential skill.
2. Emotional Validation
When your partner is angry or upset with you, the last thing you want is to increase that discomfort by telling them that they have every right to feel that way. But when you transmit what happens from an attitude of sympathy and understanding, everything changes. Instead of inciting sadness or anger, your message of emotional validation It can really ease the conflict.
Why does this paradox occur?
Emotional validation is something we all seek and long for, usually much more than we think. When we are upset, angry, frustrated, disappointed or hurt, what we want most is for our partner to understand why we feel this way.
We want you to validate our feelings, transmitting your opinions with a generous ration of sympathy . When that happens, the relief and catharsis we experience are enormous. Then we can reach an authentic liberation of the low instincts and begin to express some of the feelings that we have accumulated, releasing tensions and returning to the expressions of affection.
Emotional validation and empathy are enormously important skills for relationships. These are complemented by the third ability on our list.
To learn more about emotional validation, you can read: "Emotional validation: 6 basic tips to improve it"3. Honesty and respect
Couples constantly underestimate the impact of small gestures of consideration have on the dynamics of their relationship . A beautiful gesture or sign of affection can almost instantly stop a tense and negative dynamic and return the relationship to a good channel for positive and affective communication.
Obviously, giving a bouquet of flowers or giving a hug can not reverse the depth of a wound. But when things get taut, good will and affection are very powerful weapons in the face of tension, impatience and negativity.
These three relationship skills go hand in hand. Together they form a base of affection, trust and connection to which couples can return more easily when they are in times of stress, tension or emotional distance. In the hands of each one is to make an effort to practice them, improve them and integrate them into their daily thinking and communication. Communication skills can also be learned: encouragement, they will be of great help.
