5 keys to generate intimacy in relationships
Sometimes, starting to go out with someone and start living an "official" relationship costs less than getting an intimacy shared between the lovers. And is that one thing is that two people consider each other boyfriends, and another is to achieve a degree of true intimate connection.
For example, it is very easy to go to the movies together, spend pleasant moments talking or fit well with the family and friends of the other, but open up in an honest way and even connect physically through caresses and non-verbal language, sometimes, you can get to cost.
Next we will review some keys for to achieve a high level of intimacy between couples and emotional connection.
- Maybe you're interested: "Is distance the forgetfulness in relationships?"
Increase the degree of intimacy in romantic relationships
To remove the possible barriers that create an unnecessary separation between lovers, it is essential to create an intense intimate connection between both
1. Review the imperfections you know about your partner
Love exists because you know how to appreciate the unique and unrepeatable of the other , its mortality and its vulnerability. It may seem strange, but building intimacy in a relationship is based, among other things, on recognizing the imperfections of oneself and the person one loves.
Being aware at all times of the human and limited nature of the members of the couple means that the good actions performed by the other person are not viewed with suspicion, as if it were a strategy for instrumental purposes, just as a robot would do. instructions programmed to fulfill its function. On the other hand, by keeping in mind that expressions of affection and affection are genuine and born of the need to be in the company of others, they allow them to receive them by lowering their defenses.
2. Learn to give opportunities
There are people who have been so exposed to the cruelty and betrayal that they have trouble even trusting their partners, so that the degree of intimacy in the relationship is damaged. For example, certain caresses can generate more anxiety than pleasure, because they are performed in delicate areas (belly, neck, etc.).
In these cases, it is best to "force yourself" to trust your loved one, and think that you really what generates anxiety is not her, but the attempts to cross a certain threshold of intimacy , something that at some point in the past brought us bad results and left an emotional imprint on our own mind. It is very useful to start exposing ourselves to lighter forms of intimacy, to progress gradually from there.
So, leaving room for the other person to take the initiative and show that nothing bad happens is an excellent way for our bodies to get used to not trigger the alert every time we expose our vulnerabilities.
- Related article: "6 tests of love to apply to your relationships"
3. Learn to give support and not practical advice when necessary
As emotional contexts, partner relationships are based more on affection than giving advice and exchanging practical information about how things work. Ultimately this can be achieved through many means, but the company of the couple is unique, and offers the possibility of connecting at a level so deep that it is beyond the simple "data transmission".
That is why, to generate intimacy in romantic relationships, we must be clear that emotional support is the best we can give and that, for this, it is more useful to listen and empathize than to limit ourselves to transforming what we hear into indications and instructions on how the other person should live the life.
After all, most of the concerns and problems that are discussed in the intimate context of the relationship are not the result of lack of information (in that case solving them would not be so difficult) but of more related aspects with your own fears, situations that generate anxiety, etc.
- Maybe you're interested: "The 9 differences between love and infatuation"
4. It favors the appearance of these conversations
Through the word it is also possible to build intimacy. Of course, at the beginning it is better not to do it abruptly and very directly.
You can start by telling a very personal story about your past so that your partner can go into that story and the narrative begins to remind you of certain experiences of your life . Thus starting with a story that resonates emotionally in both parts of the relationship, it is easier to start a spontaneous conversation about own and intimate experiences, which usually do not come to light.
5. Do not judge or banalices
It may seem very obvious, but in practice some people tend to use sarcasm and acid humor as a mechanism to banalize stories about personal experiences and, thus, interrupt that conversation and change the subject (to start talking about something more comfortable and less compromising). Avoid this and, when you notice that the next thing you're going to say is on this line, give a warning. Prevent these types of strategies Knowing them in advance is a good way to make intimate conversations flow well.
