7 tips to stop being a selfish person

March 31, 2024

To a greater or lesser extent we are all selfish in some aspects. However, there are people who are in excess and their behavior draws much attention. When others are selfish we usually detect it quickly, but when we are the ones who show this attitude, it is difficult for us to recognize and detect it.

But, Is it worth being selfish? The truth is that selfishness can spoil many interpersonal relationships. If you think you are being selfish and want to change your behavior, this article will interest you.

Related article: "Manipulators have these 5 traits in common"

Characteristics of a selfish person

We all know what it means to be selfish and nobody likes to be surrounded by one of those guys who do not take our needs into account. When we have one of those people who look only for their own benefit and rarely move a finger if it is not going to get something in return, we will hardly establish a deep friendship nor will we give them our confidence.

Selfish people do not exactly enjoy great sympathy on the part of others. In summary, selfish people:

They are unlikely to share. Unless, of course, they want to make a profit in return.
They try to obtain rewards from everyday situations.
They feel very offended and resentful when they do not get what they want.
They strive the least, and always for their own good.
They have no interest in others, only in themselves.
They are insatiable and always want more.
They do not stop until they get it.

And is that those individuals who are "first me and then me" create toxic relationships, whether as a couple, at work or friendship. Selfish individuals are not always aware that they are or the damage they do , but they end up manipulating their environment to get what they want.

You can delve into the characteristics of selfish people in our article: "Selfish people share these 6 traits"

What to do if you are selfish

Selfishness is a more or less usual behavior of people, but that does not mean that you can not adopt behaviors to be more aware of how we behave with others, to improve the quality and quantity of our relationships.

If you think that you are behaving like a selfish person and you want to change the way you act , you can follow these tips.

1. Reflect and accept it

To be able to change it is necessary to be aware of what you do not like. This is the key to take action and transform yourself. Therefore, to stop being selfish the first step is to reflect on how your behavior harms others and yourself.

And it is that selfishness breaks relationships, causes suffering and can lead to an intense feeling of discomfort . To avoid this, you should examine your selfish actions and how they affect the people around you. Now, when he regrets being selfish, guilt can take over him. Then it is necessary to accept this behavior and to recognize this attitude is not beneficial for either party.

2. Change your perspective

Once you recognize that you are being selfish you need to change your perspective, and this may require effort and will. Changing perspective means assuming that you are not always going to be right and that the opinions of others also count. Once you understand this, you can begin to offer something to others and not just think about receiving all the time.

Remember that when we give to other people we will feel better , because helping others is also beneficial for the one who gives help and not only for the one who receives it. This is what concludes a study based on brain imaging carried out by scientists at the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA).

3. Stop believing that you are the center of the world

Selfishness, self-centeredness and selfishness are the same for many people, but in reality they are not. For example, you can be selfish without being egotistical. Now, these concepts often go hand in hand. The egoist wants everything for himself, it is behavior and an attitude. However, while egomania is that one loves oneself very much. egocentricity is that people think that the center of the universe and that the opinions of others are below theirs.

Although these concepts do not always appear together, in many cases people who think so much of themselves do not take others into account or think about their needs. The result is that they are also selfish. Putting aside this way of thinking can help stop being selfish .

4. You must be empathetic

Therefore, it is important to put yourself in the shoes of others and pay attention to how they feel.A person who can believe that the other person suffers will hardly hurt him (unless he is a psychopath).

Many times we act negatively towards others because we think they want to hurt us or because we are victims of prejudices, and we do not stop to think about the pain we can cause to others. Being empathetic is understanding others, and therefore, feeling open to their feelings and emotions.

5. Listen actively

To understand the emotions of others it is essential that you listen to them . But listening is not the same as hearing. To listen we must pay attention not only to what the other person verbalizes, but also to what he expresses through his nonverbal language and behavior.

This is what is known as active listening, which is a skill that can be acquired and developed with practice.

If you want to perfect this type of listening, you can read our article: "Active listening: the key to communicating with others"

6. Not only do you receive, you must also give

When you understand the feelings of others and their needs, then you can open your heart and offer them something. Human beings need to surround ourselves with other people to feel happy. So, Anticipate the needs of others and show them that you care. Sure will thank you .

7. Make the effort

It is not always easy to act in a compassionate and altruistic way, because selfishness has a lot to do with how we have been educated and the society in which we live, which encourages this type of practice.

Human beings want immediate pleasure, and this often means that we do not take into account others and the consequences of our behavior. That is why it is necessary to do your part, because the will is key when it comes to being compassionate and friendly . Better that people remember you as a good person than as a selfish person.