Curing a broken heart: 7 keys to face the lack of love
It could be thought that the opposite of love is not hatred, but love failure. The sense of loss that is often called "having a broken heart" it is a type of duel that can be very difficult to face . Not only does it lead to a loss of face to future situations (the inability to return to feel and act in the same way being with a certain person) but it makes us consider the authenticity of all the experiences we have spent in the real or imagined company of that person.Recommended article: "The 5 phases to overcome the duel of the couple's break"
The feeling of having a broken heart is hard not only because of the material changes that accompany it, such as the fact of not seeing or seeing much less a person, but also because of the existential doubts that it introduces in us. Have we lived an unrequited love? Has the other person changed, or have we been? Our relationship necessarily had to come to an end, or could we have fixed it? Have we done something to deserve having a broken heart?
These are not questions we ask ourselves from the distancing with which a scientist studies a group of cells: these are doubts that are caused by a series of feelings such as guilt, sadness and disappointment, and the way in which we respond to them. It will also have a clear emotional impact on us.
Can a broken heart be healed?
It is clear that the fact that they break our hearts (or, rather, that we ourselves have a broken heart) has a very important impact on our lives. good time ... Will these feelings and ideas stay there forever? Is it irremediable that this discomfort be chronicled in us?
The feeling of sadness and helplessness can become suffocating, but, however, broken hearts can be healed. Curing a broken heart can take time and effort, but it is possible for a simple reason: just as emotional pain has been produced by a series of learned behaviors and thoughts, you can unlearn everything that makes you feel bad .
To get down to work with this recovery, rather than focusing on tips to cure a broken heart it is important to focus on ideas, vital principles that will accompany us in our day to day . After all, advice can only be given if the circumstances of each person are known and can be examined and discussed between the two parties.
The solution, then, is to embrace certain ideas and keys of life that make us reorganize the schemes with which we interpret our environment, ourselves and others. Here you can read 7 of these keys.
1. Opening new possibilities
The fact of feeling with a broken heart is an anomaly that can lead you to live novel situations and atypical that we would not have experienced otherwise. For example, if you feel loneliness, that will lead you to take the initiative and meet other people who in the future can be very valuable to you.
If you feel so bad that you do not want to do anything, the fact of forcing yourself to do the opposite of what the body tells you (to break the dynamic of sadness) can lead to the same result. In any case, you will be doing things you did not do, and in a new way. Negative feelings can be extracted opportunities .I recommend reading: "Guide to meet new people: sites, skills and advice"
2. The broken heart as the engine of creativity
Many times, even the most adverse situations can be used. The feelings triggered by the feeling of having a broken heart can be a source of new creations that can also help you to make sense of the pain you feel at that moment.
You can try writing what you feel , using your imagination to translate textually everything you would like to say, or you can develop any project in which you think that emotional activation you feel can help you.
3. The powerful power of attention
Have you noticed that throughout history there have been great tragedies and irremediable losses and that, however, do not make you feel terribly wrong at all times? Because, in spite of knowing many of these sad stories, you do not pay attention to them in your day to day .
If you think that feeling broken-hearted can not help you in any way, It is good that you know that this pain is there because you feed it with your actions and your recurrent thoughts : It does not exist by itself. This is the reason why many of the tips that are usually given in these cases invite you to keep busy on something, forcing yourself to focus on new tasks.
4. Embracing humanism
Fixing a broken heart means accepting the idea that we are the ones who decide what we can expect from others and from ourselves. There is no essential or extraordinary person beyond the value that we give ourselves.
In the same way, there is no objective measure that determines our own value, nor with whom we can or deserve to be. We can all decide on the experiences we are experiencing in the present. Embracing the humanistic spirit will help us understand that we are the ones who give meaning and value to things.
It is good to keep in mind that we can not control everything that happens in our lives . Many good and bad things happen regardless of our intentions, and therefore we should not feel guilty for their existence.
The stoic idea that we should only worry about what directly depends on what we do is very applicable in the case of a broken heart, which usually involves someone else besides us.
6. Feeling bad is not bad
There is nothing wrong in expressing our sadness to others . Crying is very useful to relieve pain, and the same happens when sharing our thoughts with others.
When we suffer from a broken heart, it is good to take advantage of all the help they offer us and not throw it away so as not to be a burden or to spread the discomfort. After all, we would do the same for other people.
7. Denial does not fix anything
Trying to block out memories of what we live with someone will only make us concentrate more on those memories and we will evoke them all the time. In the same way, to deny that we feel bad when it is evident that this is not the case, will only cause us to notice a tension that we can not give way to, and our way of behaving will become totally artificial.
To give vent to the pain of a broken heart you have to accept that those feelings are there , and that will not disappear in a matter of minutes.