Is there the ideal couple, or is it just a fantasy?
It is very normal that, when we stop to value what other people mean to us, we draw very radical conclusions, without half measures. When it comes to feelings, we tend not to see gray: everything is either white, or black. This may have to do with our need to believe that our lives have a meaning by being linked to exceptional people, but after all, in most cases experience shows that we all have shortcomings.
Now ... what happens when we specifically focus on the world of dating? At the end of the day, even if all people have imperfections, we can come to believe in the ideal couple . Simply, this would be one that, regardless of its faults, fits perfectly with us.
But is this a reasonable idea, or is it a simple fantasy? At the end of the day, in the same way that we can believe that perfect people do not exist, we can consider that nor are there relationships free from any failure . Are there really ideal couples?
- Related article: "The 6 main types of toxic relationships"
What is an ideal couple?
As we have seen, the main characteristic of an ideal couple is that, in theory, it is 100% compatible with us. Someone who, for example, has weaknesses that are compensated for by the strengths of the person with whom he maintains a loving bond. Or, on the other hand, someone who is able to adapt to the needs of the other person.
This description of what an ideal partner is should move us away from that stereotyped idea of husbands or wives who are smiling all day and constantly showing a facet of a television character in a series for the whole family. An ideal couple has their bad moments, but these do not completely break the dynamics of the relationship.
This idea is not entirely outlandish, but it does contain a trap. This trap is that the simple fact of having as a reference the concept of "ideal partner" can lead us to belittle those people who really are perfectly valid to occupy an essential position in our lives. Having expectations set in an ideal it distracts us from people of flesh and blood , those that really exist.
- Maybe you are interested: "Expectations in love: how to know if they are realistic? 7 tips"
The refuge of expectations
With the concept of the ideal partner, something similar happens to what occurs in people who, instead of changing their reality, content themselves by imagining a better one.
To fantasize about being with a perfect person can be pleasant, but it can not be a substitute for a true affective life. After all, in and of itself, someone who only exists in our imagination does not have to have characteristics that disappoint us. The fact of imagining someone perfect it implies that we will imagine someone incomplete .
On the other hand, someone really does have hundreds of characteristics that are not ideal, but that is because it exists: because his physique is one way and not another as it suits us, because his personality It does not depend on our interests at all times , and because their skills have to do with a whole history of learning and passing through life, not with the improvisation of the activity of fantasizing.
A type of solitude in disguise
The search for the perfect partner is, even if it is paradoxical, a way of committing to loneliness and perpetuating isolation. While a person has in mind the idea that their love life should be focused on the search for someone ideal, not only will feel separated from other people because of an emotional barrier.
In addition, may that situation may entail the danger that he will commit himself in the long term with that isolation that does not really enjoy, but that strives to feed.
Why? Because if someone thinks he is waiting for the ideal partner, he finds in that belief a justification for his loneliness. He dresses her in a disguise of nobility, of romanticism, As if going through that long wait made us better or expose us more to the possibilities of reaching a person that by definition does not exist.
When someone realizes that he has been investing time and money in a search that does not show signs to determine soon, he usually obsesses with continuing with it, to make sense of the sacrifices of the past.
This obsession can become even more dangerous if it has to do with the search for the ideal person. The reason for this is that who takes the idea of the perfect couple seriously, You probably have reserved for that imaginary figure a very important role in the life that one hopes to have in the future.
A trap in love
In conclusion, the idea of the ideal partner is not only unrealistic.In addition, it can be harmful for certain people prone to take this concept very seriously. Living from an imagined future does not usually compensate for the frustrations of the present.
