How to fight separation anxiety: 3 keys
It is a reality that divorces and breakups are becoming more common. While social pressure and the claim that romantic relationships lasted indefinitely for a few decades made the idea of separating not attractive, today the costs associated with going their separate ways are much lower, and the advantages are increasingly plus.
And is that with the liberalization of affective ties come new options when facing the future individually and unilaterally, but this fact is not without problems. The anxiety produced by the separation is one of them . After all, as much as ending a relationship is less and less rare, in most cases it is an anxious and unpleasant experience, sometimes even traumatic.
Now ... how to deal with all those negative feelings when a story built in common vanishes? Let's see Some keys that help to properly manage emotions in these cases .
- You may be interested: "Why is it so difficult for us to overcome a sentimental break?"
How to deal with separation anxiety: the other side of the break
Wherever there has been a relationship of an honestly felt couple that comes to an end, an emotional blow is received. With the rupture comes a true paradigm shift in both physical and psychological. For example, when we go through an experience like this, it changes the way we perceive ourselves, but they also change our routines, including the physical places through which we usually move.
Now, the fact that almost with total security the separation will affect us emotionally It does not mean that we have to resign ourselves to suffer in any way, renouncing the possibility of regulating those emotions in the most appropriate way possible. Below you will find several tips and reflections that may be useful to combat the anxiety of breakup of a couple.
1. Mentalize: there is no half orange
Much of the suffering caused by the separation is simply that for cultural reasons we still have very high expectations about what relationships based on romantic love should be.
The idea that the members of the couple are predestined to meet and that by uniting they form a kind of inseparable unity, it comes from the magical thought traditionally linked to religion and, although in certain contexts it could be useful (times and places where not having a strong family that provides stability could suppose the death), today has lost all its meaning in much of the world.
Therefore, it is good to think that as long as it lasted it was very important for us, the universe does not revolve around a couple relationship that has ended. Therefore, the world continues to make sense even though that person is no longer at our side.
- Related article: "The myth of the average orange: no couple is ideal
2. No one is indispensable to be happy
Do you know the fallacy of request of principle? Is about a reasoning error according to which a conclusion is reached from premises in which the conclusion is already implicit. For example: the mind and the body are part of the human being, so the mind and the body are two different things.
When couple breakups occur, people who are going through the grieving process caused by the absence of the other tend to fall into a fallacy of principle request, although this time directed towards the emotions.
This reasoning is usually the following: That person who gave me happiness has disappeared , so I can not be happy anymore. Seen in a superficial way, this reasoning seems to make sense, but if we examine it with something more in depth, we realize that the premise assumes something very questionable: that happiness was given by that person, as if it were a source of vitality.
The error gets to believe affirmations so categorical based on emotions and feelings of a stage of emotional instability as it is the break. In those moments, our perception of things is so altered that it makes us capable of believing that the truth about our life has been revealed after years of remaining hidden in the shadows. The belief in this kind of catastrophic thoughts It causes a lot of anxiety, but we should not let those ideas defeat us.
3. Move in a different way
With the break comes the change, that is undeniable. One can not separate from his partner and act as if everything remained the same. More than anything, because in those circumstances, as we will not have the possibility of continuing to make our lives as we did, in practice what we do will not act at all.Adopt a totally passive attitude, do nothing, and let sadness, anxiety and intrusive thoughts spoil us .
Therefore, we must be consistent with the situation and change our habits. Embracing change consists of finding new hobbies, meeting other people and moving around in other places. The change of routine will make it more difficult to fall back into that vicious circle of obsessive thoughts typical of rumination.
